Coons and hounds and squirrels, oh my!
by Amaris Ethne
Summary: Sara fills in in Nick's poker game at a friend's pub. Conversation ranges from Coons to plagues to suction. Pure comedy. Please review.


"No. No, no, no, NO." Sara stated firmly, walking around the table in the break room for another cup of coffee. Nick followed her.  
  
"Come on, Sara. Please? It'll be fun."  
  
"No, Nick. I don't even know how."  
  
"That's okay, neither does Warrick!"   
  
"Hey!" Warrick yelled from his place on the couch, watching the proceedings. Sara laughed and Nick shot her one of his trademark grins.  
  
"I'll teach you."  
  
"I'll suck."  
  
"That's all right! So does-"  
  
"Don't even say it, Stokes!" Warrick interrupted before Nick could repeat his offence. Sara shook her head, pouring her blessed coffee into her cup.  
  
"Sara, it's really easy. My nine year old nephew learned to play in ten minutes!"  
  
"And now he beats your sorry ass at it!" Warrick commented. Nick just shot him a quick look and continued pleading with Sara.  
  
"It's just this once. An hour, that's all I ask. If you don't like it you can leave."  
  
"Or I can just not come, then I don't have to leave!"  
  
"Sara, please?" Nick asked, putting on his best pouting face. Sara crumbled immediately. Those big, brown eyes...how could she, or anyone, refuse them?  
  
"You must have been a terror when you were a teen." Sara commented. Nick's face brightened.  
  
"Is that a yes?"  
  
"Fine. I'll come. One hour." Nick flashed her his wide, Texan smile.   
  
"See you then."  
  
"Then" was an hour after the shift ended in a little pub 45 minutes away. The pub was small, and family owned by a friend of Nick's dad. Early in the morning, no one would be there except them, which was just what Nick and Warrick wanted. Every week Nick, Warrick, Greg and Kevin, the son of the owner of the pub would get together, have some beers and play cards. Only this week, Kevin had cancelled with a phone call to Nick while he was in the break room with Warrick and Sara. Previously, Sara had mentioned that she had had a rough week and that she was going to go out to a bar. She had asked Nick for a good, quiet place to get hammered. After the call, he had an answer for her: O'Here's pub. She could fill in for Kevin. Poker was a four-person game, after all. As was euchre and spades. Nick had then spent the next five minutes persuading Sara into going.   
  
When Sara's Tahoe pulled into the parking lot she spotted three cars; Nick's black Tahoe, a white Expedition and a bright, bay watch yellow truck. She just figured that the expedition and the truck were both owned by whomever were working at the pub and headed in. The place was small and cosy, with booths near the door, a few small tables in the middle of the room and some tall tables near the 'game' area. This area consisted of four pool tables, a dart board and an odd looking metal thing with five spikes coming out of it in a domino pattern and a wicker basket under it hanging on the wall near the dart board. It was this metal thing that Nick stood seven feet in front of, a drink on the tall table next to him and his back to Sara.   
  
"You been busy with out him here?" Nick asked loudly. Sara frowned. Was he talking to her?   
  
"Yeah, but Brian's been helping a little." A deep southern voice responded from somewhere behind the bar. Sara smiled with understanding. Nick was talking to the owner.  
  
"Brian? I thought he hated this place." Nick continued his conversation. Sara stifled a laugh. His accent was thicker than usual. Ordinarily, Nick's southern accent wasn't very noticeable. Certain words still came out with a southern drawl and there was always a hint of it when he spoke but it was never very prominent. But now, he sounded like someone from an old western movie.   
  
"He does. And he won't let me forget it. He's as jumpy in here as a jackrabbit. Always watchin' the clock. The minute his shift is over he's runnin' away. Off to the casino or whatever." Nick laughed and tossed a metal hoop at the thingy on the wall. It landed on the top right rung.   
  
"Didn't you say you were gettin' a hound, Nick?" The still unseen man asked. Nick tossed another ring, this time landing it on the middle hook. He smiled broadly, proud of himself before answering.  
  
"Yeah. At first I wanted a hound, but then a friend of mine called. Said he had some retriever puppies for sale."   
  
"So you got a retriever? Thought you said you knew someone with hounds for sale too."  
  
"The hound pups haven't been born yet. So now I'm gettin' two dogs." The man in the back laughed and emerged from the back room, coming out to lean on the bar.   
  
"What the hell is a 'hound?'" Sara asked, making herself known. Nick spun around and shot her a grin.  
  
"Ah. Ted, this is Sara Sidle. She's taking Kevin's place tonight." The man behind the bar, Ted, just nodded at her. Sara smiled and turned her attention back to Nick.  
  
"What kind of dog is a hound anyway?" she asked again. Sara loved animals and prided herself on knowing them very well. But in all the animal books she'd ever looked at she'd never seen "hound" under a dog. Nick laughed and glanced back at Ted.  
  
"It's a beagle, Sara. Or a blue tick, I guess. Any huntin' dog."  
  
"Huntin'" Sara repeated, mocking his accent. Nick just smiled and blushed a little.  
  
"Sorry. My accent always seems to come out more around other southerners. But yeah, a huntin' dog. They track and tree animals for you to shoot. You know, coons, rabbits, squirrels..."  
  
"'Coons? You mean racoons? You eat racoons? And squirrels?" Sara asked, shocked. Nick chuckled and tossed another ring. It hit the bottom of the middle spike and fell into the basket.   
  
"Damn." He cursed. "Yeah, I've eaten 'em. Squirrels are good in stew." Sara thought she'd be sick. Back at the bar, Ted laughed.   
  
"You want a drink Ms. Sidle?"  
  
"Call me Sara. And yes, please. A big one."  
  
~*~  
  
Sara had only been sitting at the tall table with her martini for a few minutes, watching Nick play "rings", a game that was traditionally in Irish pubs when *he* came out of the bathroom. With a grin, he made his way up and behind her with out her knowing. Reaching around her, he grabbed his drink off the table. With a yelp, Sara fell off the stool and spun to face the new person. Nick had turned around at the sound of her yell and now was grinning like an idiot. Greg stood behind Sara, drink in hand, looking confused.  
  
"Hi. Didn't mean to scare you."  
  
"Greg? What the hell are you doing here?" Sara demanded, trying to regain control of her rapid breathing.  
  
"Beating Nick at rings." Was his answer.  
  
"Uh, Sara, Greg always plays too. It's him, me, Warrick and Kevin." Nick explained. Sara shot the Texan a look. She hadn't known that Greg was going to be there. "And you are *not* beating me."   
  
"Yes he is!" Ted interjected. Nick shot him a look.   
  
"I didn't mean to scare you Sara. Didn't you know I'd be here?"  
  
"No. I didn't." She frowned. She was going to play cards with Greg? And drink? Maybe it wasn't a good idea. She seriously considered going home.   
  
"Greggo, it's your turn. I got 6 more points," Nick said, handing the lab tech the three metal rings. The younger man glanced over at Ted, who nodded in affirmation. Sara laughed. Nick didn't seem the type to cheat, she thought. Sara watched Greg throw and glanced around the pub. It was a nice place. And the guys seemed to be having fun. They looked totally relaxed. She decided that she would stay for the promised hour. And it wasn't like she hated Greg. He was a nice guy. And in truth, he hadn't hit on her in a while. There was no reason for her to run away from him. With that decision in mind she climbed back up on the stool. Sipping her drink she watched as Greg threw one ring on the bottom left hook, one that ended up in the basket and one up on the top right hook.   
  
"2 points, Greggo. Not bad," Nick said as he took the rings from him.   
  
"I'm still beating you."  
  
"12 to 8. I know, I know." Nick grumbled, taking his place behind the white tape. He had made one toss onto the bottom right rung when Warrick came in.  
  
"Hey, guys. Sorry I'm late."  
  
"That's all right. I'm about to win twenty bucks." Greg answered. Nick just frowned.  
  
"I'm not done throwing yet."  
  
"12 to 9."   
  
"You don't need to keep sayin' that." Nick shot back. Ted laughed and poured the drink he already knew Warrick wanted. Another throw and a clang put the metal loop on the other bottom peg.  
  
"Ooh, Nicky. Looks like you're going to be payin' up! You need a ringer to win!"  
  
"Greg why don't you just come over here and get a refill?" Ted called.   
  
"Well. I see who's the 'tender's favourite," Greg grumbled, but complied.   
  
"Yeah, that's what he needs. More alcohol." Sara mumbled and Nick laughed.   
  
"We're just getting started, Sara. There's a reason why we do this on Fridays,"  
  
"'And we don't do *anything* on Saturdays 'till noon!" Warrick finished. Sara laughed. She had said that she wanted to get hammered. Maybe Nick's recommendation *was* the best one. The man took a deep breath, aimed and threw the ring. It arched up and landed on the middle spoke.  
  
"Woooo-Hooo!" Nick cheered, spinning around to face Greg who sat at the bar. The lab tech gave a small grin and dug into his wallet.   
  
"*Now* I'll have that drink, Teddy." Nick told his friend. Ted just laughed and shook his head in amusement. He never minded opening the place up early for them. He'd never admit it, but Ted always looked forward to the Friday mornings when the young men played their games. It reminded him of what he and his friends used to do. And after a week of serving drinks to strangers and regulars that he barley knew, it was nice to have some young people that he could get to know better and who truly appreciated the place. It wasn't just some little hole in the wall place for them to get drunk at like most of Ted's other patrons, it was a place to hangout and have fun. If they got hammered along the way, well, that's how it goes. Especially when you're young.   
  
"Now that we all have our drinks, what do y'all say about some cards?" Nick asked, pulling a deck of cards out of his pocket.   
  
"What about the cards that we usually use?" Greg almost whined.   
  
"Yeah, Greg, Sara'd love that. Playing poker with a deck of cards with naked girls on them." Warrick mumbled and Nick laughed. Sara, on the other hand, blushed. Did they really do that?  
  
"Hey, it's not like it's her on them, right?"  
  
"And you would know, Greggo, for as much as you've studied them!" Nick replied.   
  
"You've got a point. Let's just play." The friends all gathered around a table and Ted ducked under the bar to get the other 'supplies' that they'd need.   
  
"Okay, what's the game?"  
  
"Poker. Anaconda style," Greg suggested. Nick glanced at Sara, who looked thoroughly confused.  
  
"How 'bout just a nice and easy game of 5-card stud?" The guys agreed just as Ted came over with the tray of 'supplies.' On it were the playing chips for poker, various kinds of candy, some chips, popcorn and a green visor. Nick grabbed the visor first and pulled it on his head. Black letters on it read "card shark." Sara laughed, and snorted out the drink she had just taken.   
  
"Woah, you all right there, Sare?"   
  
"N-N-Nick, what the hell...is that?" She asked between her laughter. Nick just sat back and watched her, trying to put on an annoyed face.  
  
"What does it look like?"  
  
"You...oh my god. It's just too funny." Sara continued to laugh. Nick made a low whistle.   
  
"Oookay. Ted, no more alcohol for the lady over here!" he called. Sara's laughing fit began to abate and she shot him a nasty glance.  
  
"I'm not drunk yet. It takes a hell of a lot more than an apple martini to do that!"  
  
"Here, just have some food," Nick said, passing her a little bowl of carrots.   
  
"Carrots?"  
  
"I got 'em for you since they're pretty much all you eat. I swear, Sara, you're going to turn into a rabbit with how many of those you eat."  
  
"This from the boy who doesn't like soda or chocolate bars." Warrick mumbled. Sara looked at Nick, astonished.   
  
"You'll eat a racoon, but you won't eat chocolate? What the hell is wrong with you?"   
  
"Do you want the alphabetical list or the chronological list?" Nick answered. Everyone laughed.  
  
"I don't think we have time for that, Nicky!" Ted called. Nick just laughed and began to shuffle the cards.   
  
~*~  
  
"Okay... I call. I think." Sara said, unsure. Nick had been right, it *had* only taken her a couple minutes to pick up the game. Now she stared at her hand: two kings and three tens.   
  
"You sure?" Nick asked her, glancing at his own cards. Three aces over two nines. Sara glanced at the list he had made her of what beat what and nodded, throwing out her chips.   
  
"Full house. Aces over nines." Nick announced, dropping his cards. Sara sighed.  
  
"Tens over kings. Damn." Nick chuckled and pulled his chips toward him.   
  
"It was close." Ted commented. Nick gathered the cards and tossed them to Warrick to shuffle and deal before getting up. He glanced around the table, seeing that everyone's drinks were gone or low. So he sauntered over and jumped the bar, landing next to Ted with a broad smile. Ted just shook his head again and moved out of the younger man's way. With a flourish, Nick grabbed a shaker and mixed up Greg's bloody mary, complete with the celery stalk, then grabbed the hose and filled his own glass with whiskey. Next came Sara's martini and lastly Nick mixed Warrick's screwdriver. He set the drinks on a tray and then jumped the bar again, landing and picking up the tray in one swift movement. Coming back, he handed all the drinks out and took his seat, picking up his cards. Warrick and Greg just took their drinks, nonchalantly, but Sara starred at the Texan.   
  
"What the hell was that?"  
  
"I got the drinks."  
  
"I can see that. But what...the jumping..."  
  
"I was a bartender in college," Nick informed her.  
  
"A damn good one too! I wish Brian would pick it up!" Ted chimed in. Nick laughed and leaned back in his chair.   
  
"Sometimes I come in and help Teddy out. You know, for fun." Sara was shocked. She had never pictured Nick as a beer slinger. But now that she thought about it, she could picture the man ten years younger doing just that. She smiled and picked up her cards. It was just another piece to the puzzle that was Nicholas Stokes.  
  
~*~  
  
"We got two tricks." Warrick informed Greg, his partner. They had stopped playing poker in favour of euchre.   
  
"All right, Sara, it's your deal." Greg said, handing the small deck of cards to her then downing the rest of his bloody mary. He looked at Nick in an unspoken message and the older man laughed. Warrick began to laugh too; he knew what they were thinking. Sara sat, shuffling the cards, confused. Wordlessly Nick emptied his own cup and got up, heading back over to the bar. Warrick emptied his glass as well. Ted, too, had begun to chuckle. Sara wondered if maybe the guys had had a little too much to drink. But, no, Ted hadn't had a thing and he was laughing too. Nick jumped the counter, but didn't pop up on the other side. Sara wondered if he had fallen, but Ted was standing off in the corner of the bar still smiling. A minute later, Nick popped up with a jar of something thick and brown, a couple bottles of unmarked alcohol and a small coffee cup. He reached up above the bar, got five glasses and a large pitcher and began to mix his concoction. Sara watched as he took a six large spoonfuls of molasses and dumped it into the pitcher, then dumped the brown liquid in the cup and then the alcohol. He stirred it quickly and vigorously before handing one to Ted and jumping over the counter to deliver the other four. Greg greedily grabbed his before Nick could hand it to him.   
  
"What is it?" Sara asked when Nick set the drink in front of her.  
  
"It's a bubonic plague. Nick invented it. It's really good." Greg answered half his drink all ready gone. Sara watched Warrick take a long drink from his own and starred at the drink.   
  
"Go ahead and try it, Sara. It won't kill you," Nick coached. With a sigh Sara picked up the glass and tipped it, only allowing the liquid to touch her lips before setting it back down.   
  
"Hey, if you're not going to drink it, I will!" Greg exclaimed, picking up the pitcher and refilling his glass. But Sara didn't offer it to him. Instead she picked it back up and, taking a deep breath tipped some of the brownish liquid into her mouth. Nick watched her for a moment, gagging her reaction. Suddenly, she smiled and picked the glass back up for another drink. It was sweet, and it tasted like it had gin in it. It was good.   
  
"You know, Nick, I've tried to make one of these almost 50 times and I still can't get it to come out." Nick just leaned back in his chair and smiled.  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Hey, Ted, can you make these?" Greg asked. Ted shook his head.  
  
"Nope. Neither can Brian or Kevin. Nick's dad even tried once." At the mention of his dad attempting and failing Nick smiled. Greg just shook his head at his friend and downed his second black plague.  
  
"Slow down, there, Greggo. I need you to stay conscious long enough to finish this round!" Warrick warned. Greg just shot him a nasty glance and poured another.   
  
~*~  
  
"Ha!" Sara yelled, throwing down her trump card and taking the last trick.   
  
"You suck!" Greg yelled at Sara. She just smiled at him and tossed her hair over her shoulder.  
  
"I blow and swallow, too." She stated. Nick, who had been taking a drink, coughed on it; bubonic plague going up his nose. Warrick just starred. She had *not* just said that.   
  
"Oh, damn. Do you have any idea how much that hurt?" Nick asked, after his coughing fit had subsided. Greg ignored him.   
  
"You want to demonstrate that?" he asked Sara. Warrick hit him. If tech boy wanted a demonstration, he'd have to get his ass in line. Tech boy took another drink and just as Sara was about to reply fell out of his chair, unconscious. What ever Sara was going to say, she forgot, looking down at Greg.  
  
"Ah...uh oh. Whatdowedowithhim?" She slurred. Nick stood up, his nose still stinging from his inhaling of alcohol. Bending down, he hefted the younger man up and began to walk toward the back of the pub.   
  
"I think the games are over." Warrick commented. Sara nodded and stood up. She wobbled for a few minutes, her hand on the chair before her legs just gave out under her. Ted grabbed her arm before she could fall to the floor.   
  
"I, I don't ink I can rive ome," Sara mumbled. Nick laughed, coming up beside her.   
  
"Nope, I don't think you can drive home either." He said. Sara couldn't tell if his voice was slurred as well or if it was just his accent. Either way, she allowed him to wrap his arms around her waist and lead her toward the back.  
  
"Where are you akin ee?"  
  
"There are some rooms in the back. We usually have to use them." Nick answered. He led her into one of the six rooms and pointed to a white door.  
  
"The bathroom's right through there, okay?" she nodded sluggishly and began to take off her shirt.  
  
"Woah! Wait 'til I'm outta the room for that!" Nick exclaimed, backing out. Out in front Nick found Warrick, shuffling the cards.   
  
"Rummy?"   
  
"Why not? I'll make another batch of 'plagues.'"  
  
~*~  
  
"Oh, God." Nick groaned, waking up in the back room of O'Here's. He fell back on the pillow and squeezed his eyes shut. Thank god Ted hadn't put any windows in there. If Nick had been back at home he'd have a huge picture window letting light in to fight with. For some ungodly reason the thick curtains on the window would stay closed and block all the light every day when he slept after work, but every time he had a hangover those damned curtains would end up being open. With his eyes still closed Nick patted the bed next to him. *Good, * he thought *I didn't bring a girl in again. Or Greg. * With a grimace, Nick remembered the day he had woken up with Greg in the bed beside him. Apparently, nothing had happened. Since all six rooms were connected by 4 small bathrooms, Greg had wandered into Nick's adjoining room when he had got up to take a piss. At least, that was the conclusion that both guys had come to and still held to.   
  
"Oh, hell!" Nick exclaimed, realising what *had* happened before. Sara had almost taken off her shirt in front of him. And he had left before she could. A girl was going to take off her shirt, and he didn't stay to see it.   
  
"What the hell is wrong with me?" he wondered. But he knew the answer. Sara was a friend and a co-worker and he didn't want to jeopardise that by seeing her shirtless. Plus, if he had stayed and *she* remembered his favourite muscle would be in serious danger the next time he saw her.   
  
"That's my story and I'm sticking to it." He mumbled, rolling over. On his bedside table were a carton of Advil and a cold glass of water. Gratefully, Nick popped two tablets and lay back down to wait for his hangover to get well enough so that he could drive home.   
  
~*~  
  
"All right, Kevin. Nah, it's all right. No problem. Yeah. See you then." Nick hung up his phone and clipped it back to his belt with a grin. It was three weeks later and he and Warrick were in the break room, waiting for another case to come in.  
  
"Kevin can't make it tonight," Nick said just as Sara came in.   
  
"Hey guys. You finished with that double murder case?"  
  
"Yeah. It was the husband." Warrick answered. Nick grinned and turned to her.  
  
" Say, Sara, are you busy tonight?"  
  
~*~  
  
Sara was fifteen minutes early. She had wanted to try her hand at a game of rings before any of the guys could get there. It looked fun. She was surprised to see Nick's Tahoe in the parking lot already. Upon entering the pub a pungent smell hit her. It smelled like meat. But not like chicken or pork. She couldn't place it.   
  
"Hey, Sara!" Nick greeted, coming out of the back, wearing an apron.   
  
"What's going on?"  
  
"Come have a seat. I've got something for you." Was Nick's answer. He disappeared into the back again. When he came out he had a bowl of something and a glass of water.  
  
"Try it." He said, putting it in front of her. She starred at it. It was a stew with carrots and celery and potatoes and huge hunks of meat.  
  
"Nick, I'm a vegetarian."   
  
"I know, but just try it." Nick pushed the bowl toward her and gave her his pouty face. *Damn. He is good.* Sara thought, picking up her spoon and taking a tiny bite.   
  
"Wow. This is good. What is it, venison?" she asked, taking a larger spoonful.  
  
"Nope. 'Coon and squirrel." Sara's eyes got wide and Nick quickly handed her the glass of water.  
  
"I just ate a *squirrel*!" Nick laughed.  
  
"You said it was good, too."  
  
"If you tell anyone that I ate this..."  
  
"I know, I know. Just eat the rest before the guys get here." Nick said, disappearing in the back to fetch his own bowl.   
  
~*~  
  
"Here you go, Sara. Apple martini." Ted said, setting the drink down in front of her and handing Nick the tray of supplies. He pulled his green visor on his head before picking up a purple one and tossing it to Sara. She caught it just before it hit her face.  
  
"What's this?"  
  
"It's for you." She smiled and turned it around to see what it said on it. "Demonstrator" was in bold white letters. She laughed and settled it on her head.  
  
"Why don't you just go make some 'plagues', squirrel boy."  
  
FIN  
  
Thanks for reading, everyone, now REVIEW!!  
  
And, if anyone is curious here's how to make a bubonic plague as see in Loren D. Estleman's book Hours of the Virgin:  
  
In a rocks glass mix two ounces of the following:  
  
Gordon's gin  
  
Crème de cacao  
  
Cold black coffee  
  
Then add a teaspoon of blackstrap molasses, stir and drink. It's sweet and really good. And, truthfully, fairly easy to make. My sister adds a little sugar to it, but that's just to taste. 


End file.
